"I wrote somewhat unto the assembly: but Diotrephes, who loves to have the preeminence among them, receives us not.  Therefore, if I come, I will bring to remembrance his works which he does, prating against us with wicked words: and not content with that, neither does he himself receive the brethren, and them that would he forbids and casts them out of the assembly.  Beloved, imitate not that which is evil, but that which is good. He that does good is of Yahweh: he that doeth evil has not seen Yahweh."  3 John 1:9-11

Who was Diotrephes?  What was his position and role in the assembly? It is unclear whether Diotrephes was an elder (overseer/pastor) of the assembly or whether he simply desired to be prominent among the assembly. In reality, this is irrelevant because it is equally true of pastors or laymen that they can become aspirational just for the place of prominence.  Ambition for preeminence in the assembly is entirely different than being desirous to being the preeminent shepherd/pastor. When someone is overly ambitious for prestige and control, this is what leads to being despots over the flock (1 Peter 5:3), that is, to become the preeminent one over the flock and the object/subject of adoration, and rulership by force or intimidation. Contrast that with being desirous to do the work of pastor, which is to dedicate oneself to service, to study, to counseling, and to openly debating and refuting doctrinal errors.

DIOTREPHES:

Of uncertain affinity; in the oblique cases there is used instead of it a (probably cognate) name Δίς Dis deece which is otherwise obsolete; Zeus or Dis (among the Latins Jupiter or Jove), the supreme deity of the Greeks: - Jupiter.

A primary verb (properly θρέφω threphō; but perhaps strengthened from the base of G5157 through the idea of convolution); properly to stiffen, that is, fatten (by implication to cherish [with food, etc.], pamper, rear): - bring up, feed, nourish.

Can we the interpret Diotrephes as nourished by Zeus?  The Holy Word of Yahweh is filled with contrasting personalities.  From murderous to harmless. Arrogant to meek.  We can see the examples both good and evil that Abba Yahweh allows us to choose from.  Will we be like Cain, or; will we be like his obedient brother Abel?  Let us take a look at this problem with known diagnostics!  Can we diagnose Diotrephes and categorize him as having a Narcissistic Personality Disorder?  Let's read the following and see if this can be applied accordingly!

NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER

Diagnostic Features:

Narcissistic personality disorder is a condition characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, need for admiration, extreme self-involvement, and lack of empathy for others. Individuals with this disorder are usually arrogantly self-assured and confident. They expect to be noticed as superior. Many highly successful individuals might be considered narcissistic. However, this disorder is only diagnosed when these behaviors become persistent and very disabling or distressing.
 

Complications:

Vulnerability in self-esteem makes individuals with this disorder very sensitive to criticism or defeat. Although they may not show it outwardly, criticism may haunt these individuals and may leave them feeling humiliated, degraded, hollow, and empty. They may react with disdain, rage, or defiant counterattack. Their social life is often impaired due to problems derived from entitlement, the need for admiration, and the relative disregard for the sensitivities of others. Though their excessive ambition and confidence may lead to high achievement; performance may be disrupted due to intolerance of criticism or defeat. Sometimes vocational functioning can be very low, reflecting an unwillingness to take a risk in competitive or other situations in which defeat is possible. Individuals with this disorder have special difficulties adjusting to growing old and losing their former? Superiority?

[From Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, 4th edition, 1994, commonly referred to as DSM-IV, of the American Psychiatric Association. European countries use the diagnostic criteria of the World Health Organization.]

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy.[jma: NPD first appeared in DSM-III in 1980; before that time there had been no formal diagnostic description. Additionally, there is considerable overlap between personality disorders and clinicians tend to diagnose mixes of two or more. Grandiosity is a special case, but lack of empathy and exploitative interpersonal relations are not unique to NPD, nor is the need to be seen as special or unique. The differential diagnosis of NPD is made on the absence of specific gross behaviors. Borderline Personality Disorder has several conspicuous similarities to NPD, but BPD is characterized by self-injury and threatened or attempted suicide, whereas narcissists are rarely self-harming in this way. BPD may include psychotic breaks, and these are uncharacteristic of NPD but not unknown. The need for constant attention is also found in Histrionic Personality Disorder, but HPD and BPD are both strongly oriented towards relationships, whereas NPD is characterized by aloofness and avoidance of intimacy. Grandiosity is unique to NPD among personality disorders, but it is found in other psychiatric illnesses. Psychopaths display pathological narcissism, including grandiosity, but psychopathy is differentiated from NPD by psychopaths' willingness to use physical violence to get what they want, whereas narcissists rarely commit crimes; the narcissists I've known personally are, in fact, averse to physical contact with others, though they will occasionally strike out in an impulse of rage. It has been found that court-ordered psychotherapy for psychopaths actually increases their recidivism rate; apparently treatment teaches psychopaths new ways to exploit other people. Bipolar illness also contains strong elements of grandiosity. See more on grandiosity and empathy and its lack below.] The disorder begins by early adulthood and is indicated by at least five of the following:




Translation: Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a pattern of self-centered or egotistical behavior that shows up in thinking and behavior in a lot of different situations and activities. People with NPD won't (or can't) change their behavior even when it causes problems at work or when other people complain about the way they act, or when their behavior causes a lot of emotional distress to others (or themselves? none of my narcissists ever admit to being distressed by their own behavior -- they always blame other people for any problems). This pattern of self-centered or egotistical behavior is not caused by current drug or alcohol use, head injury, acute psychotic episodes, or any other illness, but has been going on steadily at least since adolescence or early adulthood.
NPD interferes with people's functioning in their occupations and in their relationships:
Mild impairment when self-centered or egotistical behavior results in occasional minor problems, but the person is generally doing pretty well.
Moderate impairment when self-centered or egotistical behavior results in: (a) missing days from work, household duties, or school, (b) significant performance problems as a wage-earner, homemaker, or student, (c) frequently avoiding or alienating friends, (d) significant risk of harming self or others (frequent suicidal preoccupation; often neglecting family, or frequently abusing others or committing criminal acts).
Severe impairment when self-centered or egotistical behavior results in: (a) staying in bed all day, (b) totally alienating all friends and family, (c) severe risk of harming self or others (failing to maintain personal hygiene; persistent danger of suicide, abuse, or crime).

1. An exaggerated sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)


Translation: Grandiosity is the hallmark of narcissism. So what is grandiose?

The simplest everyday way that narcissists show their exaggerated sense of self-importance is by talking about family, work, life in general as if there is nobody else in the picture. Whatever they may be doing, in their own view, they are the star, and they give the impression that they are bearing heroic responsibility for their family or department or company, that they have to take care of everything because their spouses or co-workers are undependable, uncooperative, or otherwise unfit. They ignore or denigrate the abilities and contributions of others and complain that they receive no help at all; they may inspire your sympathy or admiration for their stoicism in the face of hardship or unstinting self-sacrifice for the good of (undeserving) others. But this everyday grandiosity is an aspect of narcissism that you may never catch on to unless you visit the narcissist's home or workplace and see for yourself that others are involved and are pulling their share of the load and, more often than not, are also pulling the narcissist's share as well. An example is the older woman who told me with a sigh that she knew she hadn't been a perfect mother but she just never had any help at all -- and she said this despite knowing that I knew that she had worn out and discarded two devoted husbands and had lived in her parents' pocket (and pocketbook) as long as they lived, quickly blowing her substantial inheritance on flaky business schemes. Another example is claiming unusual benefits or spectacular results from ordinary effort and investment, giving the impression that somehow the narcissist's time and money are worth more than other people's. [Here is an article about recognizing and coping with narcissism in the workplace; it is rather heavy on management jargon and psychobabble, but worth reading. "The Impact of Narcissism on Leadership and Sustainability" by Bruce Gregory, Ph.D. "When the narcissistic defense is operating in an interpersonal or group setting, the grandiose part does not show its face in public. In public it presents a front of patience, congeniality, and confident reasonableness."]

In popular usage, the terms narcissism, narcissist, and narcissistic denote absurd vanity and are applied to people whose ambitions and aspirations are much grander than their evident talents. {The Peter Principle Personified!} [Emphasis Mine!]  Sometimes these terms are applied to people who are simply full of themselves -- even when their real achievements are spectacular. Outstanding performers are not always modest, but they aren't grandiose if their self-assessments are realistic; e.g., Muhammad Ali, then Cassius Clay, was notorious for boasting "I am the greatest!" and also pointing out that he was the prettiest, but he was the greatest and the prettiest for a number of years, so his self-assessments weren't grandiose. Some narcissists are flamboyantly boastful and self-aggrandizing, but many are inconspicuous in public, saving their conceit and autocratic opinions for their nearest and dearest. Common conspicuous grandiose behaviors include expecting special treatment or admiration on the basis of claiming (a) to know important, powerful or famous people or (b) to be extraordinarily intelligent or talented. As a real-life example, I used to have a neighbor who told his wife that he was the youngest person since Sir Isaac Newton to take a doctorate at Oxford. The neighbor gave no evidence of a world-class education, so I looked up Newton and found out that Newton had completed his baccalaureate at the age of twenty-two (like most people) and spent his entire academic career at Cambridge. The grandiose claims of narcissists are superficially plausible fabrications, readily punctured by a little critical consideration. The test is performance: do they deliver the goods? (There's also the special situation of a genius who's also strongly narcissistic, as perhaps Frank Lloyd Wright. Just remind yourself that the odds are that you'll meet at least 1000 narcissists for every genius you come across.) [More on grandiosity.]

2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love


Translation: Narcissists cultivate solipsistic or "autistic" fantasies, which is to say that they live in their own little worlds (and react with affront when reality dares to intrude).

3. Believes he is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)



Translation: Narcissists think that everyone who is not special and superior is worthless. By definition, normal, ordinary, and average aren't special and superior, and so, to narcissists, they are worthless.

4. Requires excessive admiration



Translation: Excessive in two ways: they want praise, compliments, deference, and expressions of envy all the time, and they want to be told that everything they do is better than what others can do. Sincerity is not an issue here; all that matter are frequency and volume.

5. Has a sense of entitlement


Translation: They expect automatic compliance with their wishes or especially favorable treatment, such as thinking that they should always be able to go first and that other people should stop whatever they're doing to do what the narcissists want, and may react with hurt or rage when these expectations are frustrated.

6. Selfishly takes advantage of others to achieve his own ends

Translation: Narcissists use other people to get what they want without caring about the cost to the other people.

7. Lacks empathy


Translation: They are unwilling to recognize or sympathize with other people's feelings and needs. They "tune out" when other people want to talk about their own problems.
In clinical terms, empathy is the ability to recognize and interpret other people's emotions. Lack of empathy may take two different directions: (a) accurate interpretation of others' emotions with no concern for others' distress, which is characteristic of psychopaths; and (b) the inability to recognize and accurately interpret other people's emotions, which is the NPD style. This second form of defective empathy may (rarely) go so far as alexithymia, or no words for emotions, and is found with psychosomatic illnesses, i.e., medical conditions in which emotion is experienced somatically rather than psychically. People with personality disorders don't have the normal body-ego identification and regard their bodies only instrumentally, i.e., as tools to use to get what they want, or, in bad states, as torture chambers that inflict on them meaningless suffering. Self-described narcissists who've written to me say that they are aware that their feelings are different from other people's, mostly that they feel less, both in strength and variety (and which the narcissists interpret as evidence of their own superiority); some narcissists report "numbness" and the inability to perceive meaning in other people's emotions.

8. Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him

Translation: No translation needed.

9. Shows arrogant, haughty, patronizing, or contemptuous behaviors or attitudes


Translation: They treat other people like dirt.

[Some descriptions and explanations on this page are based on material from What is a personality disorder? by Paul J. Hannig, Ph.D., The Online Journal of Psychiatry, Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and (defunct) Internet Mental Health questionnaire for diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder. For a firsthand account of what it's like to have NPD, see "Malignant Self-Love - Narcissism Re-visited" by Shmuel (Sam) Vaknin, Ph.D.]

By comparison, can we see this self-centered self serving personality disorder in the true servants of Father Yahweh?  Can we see this in Yahshua the Messiah?

If there is therefore any exhortation in Messiah, if any consolation of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any tender mercies and compassions,
make full my joy, that yeoube of the same mind, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind;
 doing nothing through faction or through vainglory, but in lowliness of mind each counting other better than himself;
not looking each of you to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others.
 Have this mind in you, which was also in Messiah Yahshua:
 who, existing in the form of Elohim, counted not the being on an equality with Yahweh a thing to be grasped,
 but emptied himself, taking the form of a servant, being made in the likeness of men;
 and being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, becoming obedient even unto death, yes, the death of the tree.
 Wherefore also Yahweh highly exalted him, and gave unto him the name which is above every name;
 that in the name of Yahshua every knee should bow, of things in heaven and things on earth and things under the earth,
 and that every tongue should confess that Yahshua the Messiah is the Master, to the glory of Yahweh the Father.  Philippians 2:1-11

Can we see this selfish self-centered attitude and personality in Moses?

 And Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses because of the Cushite woman whom he had married; for he had married a Cushite woman.
 And they said, Has Yahweh indeed spoken only with Moses? has he not spoken also with us? And Yahweh heard it.
Now the man Moses was very meek, above all the men that were upon the face of the earth.  Numbers 12:1-3

What about the mental cognizance of the Apostle Paul?  Was he exalted in mind because of his abilities?

 And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, as unto babes in Messiah.
 I fed you with milk, not with meat; for you were not yet able to bear it: no, not even now are you able;
for you are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you jealousy and strife, are you not carnal, and do you not walk after the manner of men?
 For when one says I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are you not men?
 What then is Apollos? and what is Paul? Ministers through whom you believed; and each as the Master gave to him.
 I planted, Apollos watered; but Yahweh gave the increase.
So then neither is he that plants anything, neither he that waters; but Yahweh that gives the increase.
 Now he that plants and he that waters are one: but each shall receive his own reward according to his own labor.
For we are Yahweh's fellow-workers: you are Yahweh's husbandry, Yahweh's building.   1 Corinthians 3:1-9

 And at Lystra there sat a certain man, impotent in his feet, a cripple from his mother's womb, who never had walked.
 The same heard Paul speaking, who, fastening eyes upon him, and seeing that he had faith to be made whole,
 said with a loud voice, Stand upright on thy feet. And he leaped up and walked.
 And when the multitude saw what Paul had done, they lifted up their voice, saying in the speech of Lycaonia, The elohim are come down to us in the likeness of men.
 And they called Barnabas, Jupiter; and Paul, Mercury, because he was the chief speaker.
 And the priest of Jupiter whose temple was before the city, brought oxen and garlands unto the gates, and would have done sacrifice with the multitudes.
 But when the apostles, Barnabas and Paul, heard of it, they rent their garments, and sprang forth among the multitude, crying out
 and saying, Sirs, why do you these things? We also are men of like passions with you, and bring you good tidings, that you should turn from these vain things unto a living Elohim, who made the heaven and the earth and the sea, and all that in them is:  Acts 14:8-15

What about the Apostles Peter and John?  How did they react to their environ after a man was healed through them; arrogantly? 

 Now Peter and John were going up into the temple at the hour of prayer, being the ninth hour.
 And a certain man that was lame from his mother's womb was carried, whom they laid daily at the door of the temple which is called Beautiful, to ask alms of them that entered into the temple;
 who seeing Peter and John about to go into the temple, asked to receive an alms.
 And Peter, fastening his eyes upon him, with John, said, Look upon us.
 And he gave heed unto them, expecting to receive something from them.
 But Peter said, Silver and gold have I none; but what I have, that give I you. In the name of Yahshua the Messiah of Nazareth, walk.
 And he took him by the right hand, and raised him up: and immediately his feet and his ankle-bones received strength.
 And leaping up, he stood, and began to walk; and he entered with them into the temple, walking, and leaping, and praising Yahweh.
 And all the people saw him walking and praising Yahweh:
 and they took knowledge of him, that it was he that sat for alms at the Beautiful Gate of the temple; and they were filled with wonder and amazement at that which had happened unto him.
 And as he held Peter and John, all the people ran together unto them in the porch that is called Solomon's, greatly wondering.
 And when Peter saw it, he answered unto the people, You men of Israel, why do you marvel at this man? or why fasten your eyes on us, as though by our own power or righteousness we had made him to walk?  Acts 3:1-12

We can see by these examples that humility was a strong character trait in these men.  What did Yahshua say about leadership contention and placement?

 And there arose a reasoning among them, which of them was the greatest.
 But when Yahshua saw the reasoning of their heart, he took a little child, and set him by his side,
 and said unto them, Whosoever shall receive this little child in my name receives me: and whosoever shall receive me receives him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same is great.   Luke 9:46-48

 And they began to question among themselves, which of them it was that should do this thing.
 And there arose also a contention among them, which of them was accounted to be greatest.
 And he said unto them, The kings of the Gentiles have rulership over them; and they that have authority over them are called Benefactors.
 But you shall not be so: but he that is the greater among you, let him become as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that does serve.
 For which is greater, he that sits at meat, or he that serves? is not he that sitsh at meat? but I am in the midst of you as he that serves.  Luke 22:23-27

 But all their works they do to be seen of men: for they make broad their phylacteries, and enlarge the borders of their garments,
 and love the chief place at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues,
 and the salutations in the marketplaces, and to be called of men, Rabbi.
 But be not you called Rabbi: for one is your teacher, and all you are brethren.
 And call no man your father on the earth: for one is your Father, even he who is in heaven.
 Neither be you called masters: for one is your master, even the Messiah.
 But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.
 And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be humbled; and whosoever shall humble himself shall be exalted.  Matthew 23:5-12

By the foregoing examples we can draw a composite of the personality of Yahshua the Messiah, His Apostles, and men like Moses.  In stark contrast we see the arrogance and mental exaltation of the Pharisees in Matthew 23.  The pre-eminent positions coveted and desired by men like Simon Magus, Diotrephes et al, usually only exist in their delusional minds.  They cannot humble themselves to the truth of their actual positions.

For if a man thinks himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. Galatians 6:3

Can the true servants of Yahweh be the true example Yahshua the Messiah is looking for?  Rare is the Pastor that can follow Yahshua's instructions via the Apostle Peter, wherein we read:

 The elders among you I exhort, who am a fellow-elder, and a witness of the sufferings of Messiah, who am also a partaker of the glory that shall be revealed:
 Tend the flock of Yahweh which is among you, exercising the oversight, not of constraint, but willingly, according to the will of Yahweh; nor yet for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind;
 neither as despots over the charge allotted to you, but making yourselves examples to the flock.
 And when the chief Shepherd shall be manifested, you shall receive the crown of glory that fades not away.
 Likewise, you younger, be subject unto the elder. Yes, all of you gird yourselves with humility, to serve one another: for Yahweh resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of Yahweh, that he may exalt you in due time;
 casting all your anxiety upon him, because he cares for you.
 Be sober, be watchful: your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour,
whom withstand steadfast in your faith, knowing that the same sufferings are accomplished in your brethren who are in the world.
 And the Elohim of all grace, who called you unto his eternal glory in Messiah, after that you have suffered a little while, shall himself perfect, establish, strengthen you.
To him be the dominion for ever and ever. Amen.   1Peter 5:1-11

I am sure that you have met or know someone like Diotrephes!   There is no room on the planet for anyone but them.  They must be number one, they must be in total control, there can be no one else in their sphere of influence, because; they will be viewed as competition.  They will do anything and everything to maintain total control; just like Diotrephes.  They will refuse the true brethren unless they recognize him as the preeminent one, and ultimately worship and praise him only!

Yours in Yahshua, Hawke

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