THE CONTROL FREAK TEST

Part 2

*Do you know someone who flips out if you spill something on the floor? Do you know someone who takes credit for your successes? Do you know people who lose it because one of their pens is missing from the pen jar on their desk? Do you know people who know exactly how everything should be done and have no problem telling you? Do you know someone who invades your privacy? Do you know people who are so organized they would heckle Martha Stewart for being sloppy?
If you answered yes to more than one of these questions, that’s a pretty good sign you know a Control Freak. But the following self-test will help you assess just how controlling that Control Freak is.

THE CONTROL FREAK SELF-TEST

Take a moment to answer these twenty-five questions as honestly as you can by circling either Y for yes or N for no.

Y N  1. When I hear the words Control Freak, I can
immediately identify a person in my life.

Y N  2. When I hear the words Control Freak, I have
more than one person who comes to mind. (If you think of more than one person, do the test for each one.)

Y N  3. Most other people, not just me, would describe
this person as picky, critical, or controlling.

Y N  4. I find myself doing things I would never do if I
did not feel pressured by this controlling person.

Y N  5. This person would rather give orders than take them.

Y N  6. This person’s day is ruined if you sit on his or
her perfectly made bed or do something similar to mess up his or her neatly ordered world.

Y N  7.  I sometimes feel used by this person.

Y N  8.  This person hangs on to a project forever
because he or she wants it to be perfect.

Y N  9. This person loves order (don’t even think about
touching things on his or her desk) and
established routines (watch out if his or her
plans have to be rearranged).

    Y N  10. This person’s controlling tendencies cause people to feel anxious, If not alienated.
them.

Y N  11. On more than one occasion I have felt that this
person was snooping around where he or she
didn’t belong.

Y N  12. This person feels most comfortable when he or
she is in charge.

Y N 13. Like a bulldog, this person holds on to the way
he or she wants things done.

Y N  14. This person can be indecisive because he or she
continues to mull over an idea and puts every
thing else on hold.

Y N  15. If something isn’t exactly to this person’s liking,
he or she reflexively points it out—even at the
risk of embarrassing others.

Y N  16. Most people, at least at first, are surprised by
this person’s demanding style.

Y N  17. This person has his or her way of doing things
and almost never budges.

Y N  18. Hardly anyone would describe this person as
flexible and easygoing.

Y N  19. If this person does give in to another’s idea, he
or she doesn’t fully jump onboard with it.

Y N  20. If there is the slightest thing out of place, this
person will find it.

Y N  21. Once this person decides on something, It Is
settled; all other options cease to exist.

Y N  22. It seems that winning an argument is more
important to this person than finding the best
solution.

Y N  23. If this person doesn’t get what he or she wants,
you can count on a good display of anger,
pouting, or the silent treatment.

Y N  24. While driving a car, this person would rather get
lost than ask for directions.

Y N  25. Most people end up doing what this person wants.

SCORING
To find your test score, add the number of yes answers and multiply by four:
Total yes answers x 4 = score ______. A total score of 100 is possible, and the scale that follows will help you interpret your results.

0-24 Count your blessings. Relative to most other people, you have very few, if any, controlling people in your life. On second thought, this also raises a caution flag. Perhaps you don’t see other people as controlling because you are controlling the people around you. What do you think? I suggest you muster up your courage and ask two or three people who know you well and whose opinions you trust if they ever see you as controlling. .

 25—49 You know what it’s like to be with a Control Freak, but
you’re certainly not in the worst of situations. You probably have
a few isolated incidents of finding yourself with someone who is
argumentative, nitpicky, invasive, or obnoxious, However, this person is not consistently controlling, or at least you don’t have to deal with him or her on a regular basis. Still, you can benefit from some fresh approaches to making your interactions with controlling people better.

50—74 You have your work cut out for you. Whether the Control Freak in your life is found at work, at home, or somewhere else, you are going to need every tool you can find to regain some of the control you have lost to this person. With the help of this book, you will also want to take a good look at what you are doing to allow another person to gain so much control over you and your life.

75—100 Sad to say, you are up against a full-throttle, no- holds-barred Control Freak. You are dealing with someone whose craving for control is never satisfied. As a result you are going to need to give yourself fully to finding new ways of coping with this person—and changing the way you interact with him or her. Give yourself ample time to study and reflect on the personalized strategy you will design as a result of your reading. You may even want to augment your reading with a session or two from a support group or a counselor who can coach you through this important process.





 

*The Control Freak─Les Parrott III, Ph.D.

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